Characterisation: Story Excerpt

He ran. He ran like he never did before. He could feel the coolness of the wind, taste the sweetness of his sweat, hear the exhilarating cheer of the crowd, smell the sweet scent of the field grass… Time seemed to stop. A drop of sweat dripped from his forehead in slow motion. He could see himself reflected in it. A proud Jamaican with a crew-cut hairstyle, a pair of delicate ears, thick eyebrows, penetrating eyes that were black wells of passion, a stubby nose, thin set of lips, a sharp chin, a strong carefree smile, and a toned six-foot physique he maintained with hundred laps a day round the track… Suddenly, it seemed that someone pressed the “fast-forward” button on the remote control. Everything became a blur. All he could feel was his heart pumping hard, his hands moving mechanically up and down like pistons, his feet moving like they never touched the ground… He flew. His knees almost went past his competitors’ faces. He raised both his hands and slowed down, and it was not because he was tired. “Ploosh!” His shoelaces were untied. But he did not care. He knew he had won without crossing the finishing line. When he actually did, the timer displayed the unbelievable numbers “9.69s”. He had set a new Olympics world record! All he could think of right now was, “Whew! That was exciting. Let’s do it all over again!”



Techniques used for Characterisation

I created this character, Bolt, by describing his physical aspects such as facial appearance, physique and actions, and mental aspects such as thoughts and feelings.

Firstly, I portrayed Bolt as attention-catching by describing his facial appearance, as shown in the extract, “crew-cut hairstyle, a pair of delicate ears, thick eyebrows, penetrating eyes that were black wells of passion, a stubby nose, thin set of lips, a sharp chin, a strong carefree smile”.

Secondly, I portrayed him as manly by describing his physique, as shown in the extract, “toned six-foot physique”.

Thirdly, I portrayed him as focused by describing his actions, as shown in the extract, “his hands moving mechanically up and down like pistons, his feet moving like they never touched the ground”, “Time seemed to stop” and “A drop of sweat dripped from his forehead in slow motion. He could see himself reflected in it.”

Fourthly, I portrayed him as enthusiastic by describing his thoughts, as shown in the extract, “Whew! That was exciting. Let’s do it all over again!”

Finally, I portrayed him as proud by describing his thoughts and actions, as shown in the extract, “He knew he had won without crossing the finishing line”, “He raised both his hands and slowed down, and it was not because he was tired” and “His shoelaces were untied. But he did not care.”